The Loneliness and Isolation of the Parentified Child in the Family

Abstract

Parentification is a phenomenon that occurs in family life, consisting of a reversal of the roles of the child and their parent or parents (Böszörményi-Nagy & Spark, 1973). It is understood as a functional and/or emotional change of roles in which the child subordinates their own needs in order to adapt to and take care of the instrumental or psychological needs of the parent. The presented research is embedded in the interpretive paradigm. The research material allows the author to distinguish specific stages of parentified childhood (proper childhood, transition phase, adult childhood), within which appear categories such as responsibility, involuntary heroism, self-containment and loneliness. With regard to the last two categories, the author wishes to construct the image of a lonely child experiencing the reversal of family roles. There is a peculiar paradox at work: the loneliness of the child within the family environment. There is a lonely struggle for the survival and proper functioning of the family, while keeping up the appearance of a normally functioning family, maintaining family homeostasis, and meeting their own needs and those of their loved ones.